Writers blog block

In the last few weeks I find myself sitting down to write an incredible blog only to watch my hand graze across the kl;' buttons to the <--backspace button then over the X button on the top right hand corner on my PC screen.
It royally sucks to not have much to type knowing that my life has become quite interesting over the last few days. This weekend was parent weekend and it was really awesome to see my mom. I find it entertaining not as scary as it used to be that we look more and more alike when we get together. We started off the weekend with a bang, COFFEE. I have relized that ever since living with Chris, every good day begings with coffee and a hug.

I am reading a book by Thich Nhat Hanh, Peace is Every Step. "If people in a household cannot smile at each other, the situation is very dangerous." Though my roommate here and I do not get along as well as others, I am practicing breathing. Everytime she plays the same 12 songs over again withing an hour, I stop and think, "I am at peace" while taking three deep breaths. I am learning how to co-exist with other females.

I think the reason I began this blog was to rant but now that I am reading this book, I find myself uninterested in the past or the future but more interested in just the now. How am I feeling being in the NOW? I do not now what I will want in 20 years. How am I to decide what my backup plan should be if I can't even decide what I want to study now? I enjoy writing, I enjoy building and designing sets for theatrical productions. I really am not the buisness person I know some would like me to be, I don't want the stress of Dentistry but I would love to help shape our future. Every day on my way to classes, I pass a rock with a plaque on it that says "In memory...1921." It is just a little tree. I am not even sure who it is in memory of but that tree has become a staple in the middle of campus. I am sure that not everyone who walks past it everyday notices it as much as me but it really has affected me in a way I cannot explain. I stop and think, take a breath, and continue walking while thinking, "How nice would it be to be remembered not by a tombstone noticing my death but remembered through being PART of this world, being something attached to this world and contributing to LIFE." I fully understand why I am searching for something to be a part of such as the United States Air Force. I wanted to give a reason for people to be proud of me.