A letter.

>
> Dear Red States: If you manage to steal this election too
> we've decided
> we're leaving. We intend to form our own country, and
> we're taking the
> other Blue States with us. In case you aren't aware,
> that includes
> California, Hawaii, Oregon, Washington, Minnesota,
> Wisconsin, Michigan,
> Illinois, and all the Northeast. We believe this split will
> be
> beneficial to the nation, and especially to the people of
> the new
> country of New California. To sum up briefly: You get
> Texas, Oklahoma
> and all the slave states. We get stem cell research and the
> best
> beaches. We get the Statue of Liberty. You get Dollywood.
> We get Intel
> and Microsoft. You get WorldCom. We get Harvard. You get
> Ole' Miss. We
> get 85% of America's venture capital and entrepreneurs.
> You get Alabama.
> We get two-thirds of the tax revenue, you get to make the
> red states pay
> their fair share. Since our aggregate divorce rate is 22%
> lower than the
> Christian Coalition's, we get a bunch of happy
> families. You get a bunch
> of single moms. Please be aware that Nuevo California will
> be pro-choice
> and anti-war, and we're going to want all our citizens
> back from Iraq at
> once. If you need people to fight, ask your evangelicals.
> They have kids
> they're apparently willing to send to their deaths for
> no purpose, and
> they don't care if you don't show pictures of their
> children's caskets
> coming home. We do wish you success in Iraq , and hope that
> the WMDs
> turn up, but we're not willing to spend our resources
> in Bush's
> Quagmire.
>
>
>
> With the Blue States in hand, we will have firm control of
> 80% of the
> country's fresh water, more than 90% of the pineapple
> and lettuce, 92%
> of the nation's fresh fruit, 95% of America's
> quality wines, 90% of all
> cheese, 90% of the high tech industry, 95% of the corn and
> soybeans
> (thanks Iowa!), most of the U.S. low-sulfur coal, all
> living redwoods,
> sequoias and condors, all the Ivy and Seven Sister schools
> plus
> Stanford, Cal Tech and MIT. With the Red States, on the
> other hand, you
> will have to cope with 88% of all obese Americans (and
> their projected
> health care costs), 92% of all U.S. mosquitoes, nearly 100%
> of the
> tornadoes, 90% of the hurricanes, 99% of all Southern
> Baptists,
> virtually 100% of all televangelists, Rush Limbaugh, Bob
> Jones
> University, Clemson and the University of Georgia. We get
> Hollywood and
> Yosemite, thank you. Additionally, 38% of those in the Red
> states
> believe Jonah was actually swallowed by a whale, 62%
> believe life is
> sacred unless we're discussing the war, the death
> penalty or gun laws,
> 44% say that evolution is only a theory, 53% that Saddam
> was involved in
> 9/11 and 61% of you crazy Bastards believe you are people
> with higher
> morals then we lefties. Finally, we're taking the good
> pot, too. You can
> have that dirt weed they grow in Mexico Peace out, -Blue
> States