My mother has the worst sense of direction. I inherited this quark and have sense forth been condemned. I have very little memory of my mommy dearest when I was younger beyond her carting my brother and me around in her 1992 Silver Ford Station Wagon. Our family gives names to all of our cars and the “Silver Bullet” with its chocolate frozen yogurt stains on the back seat was no exception. If you have ever seen a silver motor home that just looks like a pill a bit too big to swallow, shrink that idea down to about half size and that is exactly what the Silver Bullet looked like.
My mommy’s face told the story. Her head was on a swivel as she glanced left to right reading street signs. Even at five or six years old, I knew we were lost. I might have been the only one in the car that cared because my brother just kept reading Goosebumps while mom remained silent. Keep in mind, six year olds, wear their emotion on their sleeve and I wasn’t put on Earth to break tradition.
“Are we lost?”
“We aren’t lost we are merrily having a scenic adventure” said mom. The tone of her voice almost covered the obvious fluster.
Now believe me, I did not understand the gravity of the situation I found myself in today until my husband asked me if we were lost while on rout to a friend’s apartment. We had had seen the reflection of my little red sports car in the same Shell Station window four times when I promptly responded “We aren’t lost, we are merrily having a scenic adventure,” I realized then at the age of 24, I have officially become my mother’s daughter.
Ever since officially gaining the title of ‘my mother’s daughter,’ I have accepted all the responsibilities that entail. I drive to Knoxville, Tennessee a few times a year and even though the rout is simple, take 71 south all the way down to Cincinnati, continue down 75 south until you begin to see signs for Knoxville, when there, call mom. On my various trips to Knoxville, I have accidentally been to Lexington, Maryville, Paduca, and Asheville; all are more than 100 miles away from Knoxville in all sorts of directions. I understand that maybe I should learn to read a map, but over the years spent on scenic adventures I have grown accustomed to finding my way the hard way. I do not believe that I am ever actually lost, I have just decided to go another way.
For all the scenic adventures, only one car has taken me on the most exciting. I paid my very first $250 car payment 27 days after I turned 15 years old. My parents were doing their civic duty by allowing me to earn my first car. The red Oldsmobile Alero with leather interior would speed down the interstate cutting through the mountains of the Appalachians and rounding each accidental turn with power and agility. The car has never been washed unless a few gallons of naturally distilled rainwater are dumped from the sky. Three years after making the first painful withdraw from my savings account, I am the proud owner of four very dirty hubcaps. The little red sports car, now dubbed “Rundown Red Thing,” sits in the driveway collecting dust day after day like my lone Algebra textbook under my bed.
The name of the car only foreshadows my most recent trip to Knoxville. Most cars can get a bit more than 3,000 miles on one oil change but my car, began asking for oil less than 1,000 miles after the oil and oil filter had been exchanged for new. I treat my car as if my own blood, taking it into the doctor numerous times for the same ailment to check for improvements. My “Check Oil” light had come on and my car began to smoke like a tugboat down the Tennessee River on a hot summer day. At this moment, I only know that I am far enough South that White Castle has turned in to Krystle and it is too late to turn back and go home. There are mountains, so I know that I am south of the Ohio River and I see my first “truck run-a-way” exit. I am in Jellico Pass. Once one gets into Jellico Pass, there is no exiting, entering, stopping, or speeds lower than 85miles per hour. My car has no oil and I will not be stopping for 36.5 miles.
In addition to my mom’s sense of direction, I have also inherited her luck. Ten miles down Jellico Pass, my car’s smoke is so thick that I have to hang my head out the window to see what is five feet in front of me. I know that my car is not going to make it and I decided to pull into a ditch. The thing about Jellico Pass is that not a single cell phone works the entire stretch of road; so there I am, in the middle of May’s rainy season, walking the 6 miles back toward the last rest stop.
With inclines and even steeper declines, trucks cannot stop for anything on Jellico Pass, excluding, but not limited to, small children. My cell phone eventually gained service and I could call my mother, I gave her direction to exactly where I was but the problem with Jellico Pass is that most of the rest stops are not accessible by the people driving the opposite direction.
In hoping that my mother would not get lost herself, I prayed a little prayer over my Snicker’s Bar dinner and spent that last few quarters that I had in my pocket next to the lint on a can of Coke. My mother ended up driving over 100 miles, all the way North of Jellico Pass, and back South to find me. I am my mother’s daughter.
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
Monday, October 27, 2008
A letter.
>
> Dear Red States: If you manage to steal this election too
> we've decided
> we're leaving. We intend to form our own country, and
> we're taking the
> other Blue States with us. In case you aren't aware,
> that includes
> California, Hawaii, Oregon, Washington, Minnesota,
> Wisconsin, Michigan,
> Illinois, and all the Northeast. We believe this split will
> be
> beneficial to the nation, and especially to the people of
> the new
> country of New California. To sum up briefly: You get
> Texas, Oklahoma
> and all the slave states. We get stem cell research and the
> best
> beaches. We get the Statue of Liberty. You get Dollywood.
> We get Intel
> and Microsoft. You get WorldCom. We get Harvard. You get
> Ole' Miss. We
> get 85% of America's venture capital and entrepreneurs.
> You get Alabama.
> We get two-thirds of the tax revenue, you get to make the
> red states pay
> their fair share. Since our aggregate divorce rate is 22%
> lower than the
> Christian Coalition's, we get a bunch of happy
> families. You get a bunch
> of single moms. Please be aware that Nuevo California will
> be pro-choice
> and anti-war, and we're going to want all our citizens
> back from Iraq at
> once. If you need people to fight, ask your evangelicals.
> They have kids
> they're apparently willing to send to their deaths for
> no purpose, and
> they don't care if you don't show pictures of their
> children's caskets
> coming home. We do wish you success in Iraq , and hope that
> the WMDs
> turn up, but we're not willing to spend our resources
> in Bush's
> Quagmire.
>
>
>
> With the Blue States in hand, we will have firm control of
> 80% of the
> country's fresh water, more than 90% of the pineapple
> and lettuce, 92%
> of the nation's fresh fruit, 95% of America's
> quality wines, 90% of all
> cheese, 90% of the high tech industry, 95% of the corn and
> soybeans
> (thanks Iowa!), most of the U.S. low-sulfur coal, all
> living redwoods,
> sequoias and condors, all the Ivy and Seven Sister schools
> plus
> Stanford, Cal Tech and MIT. With the Red States, on the
> other hand, you
> will have to cope with 88% of all obese Americans (and
> their projected
> health care costs), 92% of all U.S. mosquitoes, nearly 100%
> of the
> tornadoes, 90% of the hurricanes, 99% of all Southern
> Baptists,
> virtually 100% of all televangelists, Rush Limbaugh, Bob
> Jones
> University, Clemson and the University of Georgia. We get
> Hollywood and
> Yosemite, thank you. Additionally, 38% of those in the Red
> states
> believe Jonah was actually swallowed by a whale, 62%
> believe life is
> sacred unless we're discussing the war, the death
> penalty or gun laws,
> 44% say that evolution is only a theory, 53% that Saddam
> was involved in
> 9/11 and 61% of you crazy Bastards believe you are people
> with higher
> morals then we lefties. Finally, we're taking the good
> pot, too. You can
> have that dirt weed they grow in Mexico Peace out, -Blue
> States
> Dear Red States: If you manage to steal this election too
> we've decided
> we're leaving. We intend to form our own country, and
> we're taking the
> other Blue States with us. In case you aren't aware,
> that includes
> California, Hawaii, Oregon, Washington, Minnesota,
> Wisconsin, Michigan,
> Illinois, and all the Northeast. We believe this split will
> be
> beneficial to the nation, and especially to the people of
> the new
> country of New California. To sum up briefly: You get
> Texas, Oklahoma
> and all the slave states. We get stem cell research and the
> best
> beaches. We get the Statue of Liberty. You get Dollywood.
> We get Intel
> and Microsoft. You get WorldCom. We get Harvard. You get
> Ole' Miss. We
> get 85% of America's venture capital and entrepreneurs.
> You get Alabama.
> We get two-thirds of the tax revenue, you get to make the
> red states pay
> their fair share. Since our aggregate divorce rate is 22%
> lower than the
> Christian Coalition's, we get a bunch of happy
> families. You get a bunch
> of single moms. Please be aware that Nuevo California will
> be pro-choice
> and anti-war, and we're going to want all our citizens
> back from Iraq at
> once. If you need people to fight, ask your evangelicals.
> They have kids
> they're apparently willing to send to their deaths for
> no purpose, and
> they don't care if you don't show pictures of their
> children's caskets
> coming home. We do wish you success in Iraq , and hope that
> the WMDs
> turn up, but we're not willing to spend our resources
> in Bush's
> Quagmire.
>
>
>
> With the Blue States in hand, we will have firm control of
> 80% of the
> country's fresh water, more than 90% of the pineapple
> and lettuce, 92%
> of the nation's fresh fruit, 95% of America's
> quality wines, 90% of all
> cheese, 90% of the high tech industry, 95% of the corn and
> soybeans
> (thanks Iowa!), most of the U.S. low-sulfur coal, all
> living redwoods,
> sequoias and condors, all the Ivy and Seven Sister schools
> plus
> Stanford, Cal Tech and MIT. With the Red States, on the
> other hand, you
> will have to cope with 88% of all obese Americans (and
> their projected
> health care costs), 92% of all U.S. mosquitoes, nearly 100%
> of the
> tornadoes, 90% of the hurricanes, 99% of all Southern
> Baptists,
> virtually 100% of all televangelists, Rush Limbaugh, Bob
> Jones
> University, Clemson and the University of Georgia. We get
> Hollywood and
> Yosemite, thank you. Additionally, 38% of those in the Red
> states
> believe Jonah was actually swallowed by a whale, 62%
> believe life is
> sacred unless we're discussing the war, the death
> penalty or gun laws,
> 44% say that evolution is only a theory, 53% that Saddam
> was involved in
> 9/11 and 61% of you crazy Bastards believe you are people
> with higher
> morals then we lefties. Finally, we're taking the good
> pot, too. You can
> have that dirt weed they grow in Mexico Peace out, -Blue
> States
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
Writers blog block
In the last few weeks I find myself sitting down to write an incredible blog only to watch my hand graze across the kl;' buttons to the <--backspace button then over the X button on the top right hand corner on my PC screen.
It royally sucks to not have much to type knowing that my life has become quite interesting over the last few days. This weekend was parent weekend and it was really awesome to see my mom. I find it entertaining not as scary as it used to be that we look more and more alike when we get together. We started off the weekend with a bang, COFFEE. I have relized that ever since living with Chris, every good day begings with coffee and a hug.
I am reading a book by Thich Nhat Hanh, Peace is Every Step. "If people in a household cannot smile at each other, the situation is very dangerous." Though my roommate here and I do not get along as well as others, I am practicing breathing. Everytime she plays the same 12 songs over again withing an hour, I stop and think, "I am at peace" while taking three deep breaths. I am learning how to co-exist with other females.
I think the reason I began this blog was to rant but now that I am reading this book, I find myself uninterested in the past or the future but more interested in just the now. How am I feeling being in the NOW? I do not now what I will want in 20 years. How am I to decide what my backup plan should be if I can't even decide what I want to study now? I enjoy writing, I enjoy building and designing sets for theatrical productions. I really am not the buisness person I know some would like me to be, I don't want the stress of Dentistry but I would love to help shape our future. Every day on my way to classes, I pass a rock with a plaque on it that says "In memory...1921." It is just a little tree. I am not even sure who it is in memory of but that tree has become a staple in the middle of campus. I am sure that not everyone who walks past it everyday notices it as much as me but it really has affected me in a way I cannot explain. I stop and think, take a breath, and continue walking while thinking, "How nice would it be to be remembered not by a tombstone noticing my death but remembered through being PART of this world, being something attached to this world and contributing to LIFE." I fully understand why I am searching for something to be a part of such as the United States Air Force. I wanted to give a reason for people to be proud of me.
It royally sucks to not have much to type knowing that my life has become quite interesting over the last few days. This weekend was parent weekend and it was really awesome to see my mom. I find it entertaining not as scary as it used to be that we look more and more alike when we get together. We started off the weekend with a bang, COFFEE. I have relized that ever since living with Chris, every good day begings with coffee and a hug.
I am reading a book by Thich Nhat Hanh, Peace is Every Step. "If people in a household cannot smile at each other, the situation is very dangerous." Though my roommate here and I do not get along as well as others, I am practicing breathing. Everytime she plays the same 12 songs over again withing an hour, I stop and think, "I am at peace" while taking three deep breaths. I am learning how to co-exist with other females.
I think the reason I began this blog was to rant but now that I am reading this book, I find myself uninterested in the past or the future but more interested in just the now. How am I feeling being in the NOW? I do not now what I will want in 20 years. How am I to decide what my backup plan should be if I can't even decide what I want to study now? I enjoy writing, I enjoy building and designing sets for theatrical productions. I really am not the buisness person I know some would like me to be, I don't want the stress of Dentistry but I would love to help shape our future. Every day on my way to classes, I pass a rock with a plaque on it that says "In memory...1921." It is just a little tree. I am not even sure who it is in memory of but that tree has become a staple in the middle of campus. I am sure that not everyone who walks past it everyday notices it as much as me but it really has affected me in a way I cannot explain. I stop and think, take a breath, and continue walking while thinking, "How nice would it be to be remembered not by a tombstone noticing my death but remembered through being PART of this world, being something attached to this world and contributing to LIFE." I fully understand why I am searching for something to be a part of such as the United States Air Force. I wanted to give a reason for people to be proud of me.
Monday, October 20, 2008
Dancing Politians
This is a big what-if?
I think it is interesting, the differences between students on campus. Listening to students who are Democratic/Republican because of their parents or because they are listening to the news and polititians. (See previous post).
I am unsure if this picture raises my stress level or lowers it due to the hillarity and amazing photoshop work but...
Thursday, October 16, 2008
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
Well, I guess I havent had much time for you...
What a week.
I guess I just haven't been myself and I appologize to everyone that I have blown off the last few weeks. I am being a typical college student and attempting to "find myself" I guess. The average grade in my Biology 205 class is a D, we all get excited when scoring a 3 or 4 out of 10 on our quizes but I am not complaining. I have recently discovered that I really hate biology. Ta-da! I could care less about my grades as from a young age both my parents have instilled in my the idea that it doesn't matter about the grade, as long as I do my best. Well, I am doing my best, if I am not interested in the subject at all-- and to be honest-- I could care less about nucleotides-- no matter how hard I study, I will never do very well. Does that make sense?
I made the journey to the Air Force recruitment center this last Friday. It was very eye opening. The last death the Air Force had was a few months ago when a man fell asleep on the runway and got spatted by an airplane attempting to take off. Ever since I had the opportunity to fly an airplane in Rochester, MN with Mr. Jim Leedham, I have wanted to finish earning my pilots license and remain up in the air 'till I run out of fuel. I love the freedom I had being up in the skies. Though the Air Force is the cushiest of branches, I do fear what this election will bring. Will McCain make this the next 100 year war or will Obama begin returning out troups. I am proud to be an American but there are too many ifs and buts for me to dedicate my life to the Air Force as of now. My mom came up to Columbus to see me and it was a nice surprise, I woke up with a very nice hang over and RING! "I am 40 miles away, please tell me you didn't join."
"I didn't. Why are you 40 miles away again?"
"I couldn't sleep."
"Oh."
It was nice to see her except for the ridiculous amount of tears that she shed while we were at the park. I am still impressed by how much salt water her eyes can produce. We talked about me taking a year off to work or hike the Appalachian Trail, live with her or live on friend's couches; anything but joining the Air Force. I run from everything that scares me and this next year will be a year of facing my fears. I need to stand up to those around me and fight for what I want, find respect for myself, better myself, and learn to be with others.
I am really enjoying just being. As much as I long to work again, it is nice to not be so stressed.
If I have learned anything this week, it is to listen to my brain a little more. I keep a 300 MAG bullet on my desk to think of the worste and best times of my life. Though I was not there, realizing the fragility of life through Rachel B's story has made me not take life for granted. Living with Chris has taught me the kind of person i want to be and remembering the 3rd of July, Red White and Boom-- the BOOM being when we didn't have fireworks so to keep up with the neighborhood we shot the 300 MAG into the ground leaving a grapefruit sized hole in the ground. For the last few years I have focused on the worst of times but all I can do is live in the now.
I guess I just haven't been myself and I appologize to everyone that I have blown off the last few weeks. I am being a typical college student and attempting to "find myself" I guess. The average grade in my Biology 205 class is a D, we all get excited when scoring a 3 or 4 out of 10 on our quizes but I am not complaining. I have recently discovered that I really hate biology. Ta-da! I could care less about my grades as from a young age both my parents have instilled in my the idea that it doesn't matter about the grade, as long as I do my best. Well, I am doing my best, if I am not interested in the subject at all-- and to be honest-- I could care less about nucleotides-- no matter how hard I study, I will never do very well. Does that make sense?
I made the journey to the Air Force recruitment center this last Friday. It was very eye opening. The last death the Air Force had was a few months ago when a man fell asleep on the runway and got spatted by an airplane attempting to take off. Ever since I had the opportunity to fly an airplane in Rochester, MN with Mr. Jim Leedham, I have wanted to finish earning my pilots license and remain up in the air 'till I run out of fuel. I love the freedom I had being up in the skies. Though the Air Force is the cushiest of branches, I do fear what this election will bring. Will McCain make this the next 100 year war or will Obama begin returning out troups. I am proud to be an American but there are too many ifs and buts for me to dedicate my life to the Air Force as of now. My mom came up to Columbus to see me and it was a nice surprise, I woke up with a very nice hang over and RING! "I am 40 miles away, please tell me you didn't join."
"I didn't. Why are you 40 miles away again?"
"I couldn't sleep."
"Oh."
It was nice to see her except for the ridiculous amount of tears that she shed while we were at the park. I am still impressed by how much salt water her eyes can produce. We talked about me taking a year off to work or hike the Appalachian Trail, live with her or live on friend's couches; anything but joining the Air Force. I run from everything that scares me and this next year will be a year of facing my fears. I need to stand up to those around me and fight for what I want, find respect for myself, better myself, and learn to be with others.
I am really enjoying just being. As much as I long to work again, it is nice to not be so stressed.
If I have learned anything this week, it is to listen to my brain a little more. I keep a 300 MAG bullet on my desk to think of the worste and best times of my life. Though I was not there, realizing the fragility of life through Rachel B's story has made me not take life for granted. Living with Chris has taught me the kind of person i want to be and remembering the 3rd of July, Red White and Boom-- the BOOM being when we didn't have fireworks so to keep up with the neighborhood we shot the 300 MAG into the ground leaving a grapefruit sized hole in the ground. For the last few years I have focused on the worst of times but all I can do is live in the now.
Wednesday, October 8, 2008
"Other" Wars
http://www.youtube.com/swf/l.swf?video_id=PdJUCU1UH2w&rel=0&eurl=http%25
Unfortunately, this was sent to me in an email as a link and it wouldn't let me actually put the video up here. Please watch this; it is disturbing and I am going to put a warning on this, it is graphic.
Our government needs to get their heads out their asses and realize that ever dollar they spend, ever child lost, every other government they tear down around the world, is not making us look better. I believe this is the best country on Earth, hell, I wouldn't live here if I didn't think that; but don't you think we should maybe focus on our OWN country a little? We have torn ourselves down, I can barely afford to eat and I know others who are one step from living on the streets. Why not spend the 500 billion dollars that we put into this war and figure away for us to not DEPEND on the oil oversees. Did we jump at the idea of war for "weapons of mass destruction" or OIL?
VOTE.
Unfortunately, this was sent to me in an email as a link and it wouldn't let me actually put the video up here. Please watch this; it is disturbing and I am going to put a warning on this, it is graphic.
Our government needs to get their heads out their asses and realize that ever dollar they spend, ever child lost, every other government they tear down around the world, is not making us look better. I believe this is the best country on Earth, hell, I wouldn't live here if I didn't think that; but don't you think we should maybe focus on our OWN country a little? We have torn ourselves down, I can barely afford to eat and I know others who are one step from living on the streets. Why not spend the 500 billion dollars that we put into this war and figure away for us to not DEPEND on the oil oversees. Did we jump at the idea of war for "weapons of mass destruction" or OIL?
VOTE.
Monday, October 6, 2008
Oh lookie there!
Oh my goodness, can you believe it? The stock market crashed again?
No shit the stock market crashed again (sorry grand)! I don't know about you but that was totally and completely expected since all the government even thought about was making the stock market appear to look like it was doing well opposed to actually fixing the problem. There is still a ton of oil we wont drill that would be cheap on our side of the planet, we are still out-sourcing jobs and marijuanna is still illegal-- thus we STILL CAN'T TAX it!
So here is the problem, bailing the economy out is not doing anything. Take the 3 billion dollars we used to "boost" the economy and pay off everyone's morgage; that way, people can actually spend money on gasoline, clothes...and SHOES!
I have Biology and though I have more to say...going to class right now is way more important.
No shit the stock market crashed again (sorry grand)! I don't know about you but that was totally and completely expected since all the government even thought about was making the stock market appear to look like it was doing well opposed to actually fixing the problem. There is still a ton of oil we wont drill that would be cheap on our side of the planet, we are still out-sourcing jobs and marijuanna is still illegal-- thus we STILL CAN'T TAX it!
So here is the problem, bailing the economy out is not doing anything. Take the 3 billion dollars we used to "boost" the economy and pay off everyone's morgage; that way, people can actually spend money on gasoline, clothes...and SHOES!
I have Biology and though I have more to say...going to class right now is way more important.
Saturday, October 4, 2008
T Boone Pickens
Have you heard of this man? Ian told me about him; this man has an interesting point. This country imports way too much oil and we need to focus on wind energy, check this out.
Plug.
I promise I don't JUST plug my brother into every conversation I have, but he is the most tallented person I know and I love him for it. Every day I am jelous that he has the energy and just plain ability to get up on stage and...make a fool of himself. I wish I could see him live instead of just these damned videos-- he is headlining at the Magic Castle in L.A. I am really excited for him, maybe somewhere down the line I will find something I love to do.
The Castle Basement
The Castle Basement
Thursday, October 2, 2008
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