He's Dead Jim...

I know these things are supposed to happen in threes but maybe the Myans were right and the world really is coming to an end soon...they were just off by a three years? What is going on?! Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, that guy from the Kung Fu movies, and now...BILLY MAYS?! I am at a loss for words which, we all know, very rarely happens. I believe this has to do with me going to Rochester, Minnesota. The last three times I have been, something has died no matter how short or long my visit is. The first Summer, I arrived in early June for Nisswasammen, a folk dance festival in northern Minnesota. The day after we reach the music festival, my aunt receives a phone call from the kitty hotel notifying her that her cat has mysteriously died in her sleep and without an autopsy, they couldn't decipher the actual cause of death. Inky died of an incredibly rare disease completely unexpectedly. Once Inky was dead and (God rest her soul), on the mantel in a tin can; Mary was left with Max, the reason I hate cats. When I was three, Max decided I was in his territory, hunted me, and took me down with a swipe of his paw. Max was part of a Fat Cat study being organized by Purdue University in Indiana. On top of being obese, he was an amputee with only three legs and had an enlarged left ventricle. In early June again, I came to visit, this time I was going to be there for three months. Typically, Max and I were kept separate but ever since the amputation, I could finally run faster. Mary was out of town being trained in Feldenkrais Therapy when Max's breathing began to sound funny. I had taken Anatomy and Physiology with Mr. Comenda my Junior year of High School between these two summers and had dissected two cats-- not to mention I just had enough sense to know Max's breathing was due to fluid in his lungs. I called Mary and she told me to just take him into the kitty doctor and make the decisions. I had the vet tap Max's chest three times and on the third time, we decided to put Max to sleep and end the terror. I went from hating this cat to having Max snuggle up against me as tears were streaming down my face during his last breaths. I killed both of my aunt's cats within two years. That same summer, my dog that we have had since I was three passed away from another "mysterious disease" after coming to Minnesota for the summer with me. At that point, I realized that I should take a year off. No one died that year. This year on the other hand...

Michael Jackson
Farrah Fawcett
Billy Mays
That man from the Kung Fu movies (he died during some kinky sex game...now what have we learned?!)
Caroline Victoria Jenson (my great-aunt)
Dawn's aunt

They are all dead Jim, just dead.

Suck it-- rain!!!

I am in Columbus for the weekend, it has been a wonderful trip so far. The kids, Dawn, and I went to Hybanks park up off of 23/High Street for 2 hours to skip rocks in the river, play on the kid structure, meet new people, and walk a few 10th of a mile. The clouds kept rolling in and it wasn't until we started heading back toward the car that it began raining cats and dogs. I miss them already just knowing that I am leaving tomorrow to go back to Bowling Green for the last few weeks of school.
The Summer plan so far is to work in Knoxville wherever I can, odd jobs, babysitting, dogsitting, old-peoplesitting, housesitting, anythingsitting... I am looking forward to seeing mom more often and exploring more of Knoxville.
Anyway, we are watching Twilight tonight and just relaxing after a great day outside.
Suck it--rain!!!
Peace.

Alright now...

Oh boy has it been a long time since I got on here and wrote anything worth reading but I guess I should let you all know what is going on with me any not to mention my mother.

Spring Break was awesome, I went to Chicago and came back with a Silver metal from Curling Nationals. I saw the Bean, rode the giant Ferris Wheel on Navy Peer, saw Watchman in one of the largest Imax theatre in the nation, and ate at the world famous "Bubba Gumps!" I made it back to Bowling Green for one day and had to turn right around and head to Cincinnati for the week. The United States Institute for Theatre Technology (USITT) Conference was amazing and extremely intimidating. There were some amazing students whos drawings and ideas blew my mind.

This past Friday morning I picked up my new knee brace that, fyi, is incredibly hot, painful, and black-- preventing me from wearing any brown or navy blue. I will be wearing this brace every day for a month while attending therapy 2-3xs a week. I would appreciate everyone crossing your fingers for all of this to work so I can avoid surgery.

On to something a bit scary, my mommy spent a week in the hospital after a CAT scan showing a "spot" on her lung and heart. She was admitted into the Mayo Clinic for emergency surgery to remove the spots, luckily they could do everything through a small incision on her chest apposed to rolling her over and going through her side. The doctors removed the spots not knowing whether they were cancerous or caused by Histoplasmosis. Histoplasmosis is (as it was explained to me), pretty much everywhere, most people will have it sometime in their lives and if she had never gone into the hospital, she would have never gone through all this. On her way back from Minnesota, she drove through Cincinnati where we had lunch and got a chance to catch up, thanks ma' for scaring the shit out of me. Don't do it again.

I suppose that is all, I hope everyone is having a wonderful end of the semester!!!

Congratulations PJ and Molly!

Out on the beach, PJ FINALLY proposed to Molly just before Nationals! Hopefully the rock on your finger makes the rock in your hand go the way you want it Molly! Congratulations you two.

Dar Williams, "I will not be afraid of women"

The Way I see It #298

"Our prejudices arise from the fear of things we do not understand. If my generation has a single goal, it must be to promote education-- education that advances us not only technologically, but also intuitively and emotionally. In today's fast-paced world, advancing has no mean more than scientific discovery; it is our responsibility to force ourselves beyond our comfort zones and become knowledgeable about the people around us."

-Jessica Arden Ettinger
Starbucks customer and student at the University of Virginia

As I am preparing to leave this coming Friday for Columbus only to leave Sunday for Chicago, IL, I sit here in Starbucks reading Passing by Nella Larsen. I have recently lost my attention span and have realized that maybe that attention span has been lost longer than I thought. I am extremely indecisive when it comes to choosing a date movie, I get the same thing at my usual restaurants every time I go, I change my hair style and color faster than Ohio changes temperatures, and I have to always be doing three things at the same time. Maybe we all have a little attention deficit disorder in us?

I have been applying to Summer camps across the nation; I hope to be invited back to Appalachian Institute for Creative Learning one day but I understand the need for me to branch out. I will never be too old for Summer camp.

The opera just closed yesterday and can I say, "Thank GOD for that?" It was a long couple of weeks; I really enjoyed working with the crew, they were fantastic but it is nice to have my nights back to fill with a new show...onward to Into the Woods.

Curling class is going well except for the fact that I walk back to my dorm and next class in tears every day. My knee has not been getting worse but it is not getting any better, luckily I am getting an MRI on Wednesday and will schedule any necessary follow-up doctor visits while I am there.

I am also getting poked and prodded at another doctor but we will not get into all that...ladies...why can't we just all by new uteruses off ebay once a month? Doesn't that sound nice?

I guess...that was a fair 30 second catch-up on everything that has been going on. I would just like to give a shout-out to Wes who is traveling to Seoul, Korea from his home in Japan, happy travels!

Last night

Since Tiff is out of town and the next few weekends are going to be insane, I was looking forward to just relaxing and watching Cinderella over and over last night. Tiff and I said heartfelt good byes and around 5:45pm and I was at work by 6pm. I was back in my dorm around 10pm with a Mike's Hard Lemonade, Cinderella, and a candle burning for ambiance. I know this totally sounds lame but I did my fair share of partying last year and I have begun to just enjoy quiet time. I went to bed around 2am with Sex and The City on the tube and RIIIIIIINNNNNGGGG!!! RIIIIIINNNNNGGGG!!! My phone rang around 4am, it was Cameron, an old friend of mine from High School. Without going too far into why he didn't have his keys, he was locked out of his frat house and couldn't get a hold of anyone to get back in. He stumbled over to my dorm, by this time, it is 5am and we are both starving...the only place open at 5am...is the Circle K gas station 5 blocks away...He needed cigarettes and I needed a pop tart. Long story short...I have learned to not answer my phone at 4am...

Feminism isn't just for the lesbians and man haters anymore.

Tiff is in a Women's Studies class where she reads...a lot. There will always be those comments where as a woman, I have to say something and what better place to do it than on a blog for all to see. Every time I form a rebuttal, my views are not always coming out as word vomit from my mouth as "Karen's words," but as a woman, as a human being. I am not even talking about comments made earlier in the week but just in general. Both men and women need to be more conscientious about what they say and do in everyday life, we naturally become haters of the opposite sex and this-- is not very non-violent of us, (thank you mom for teaching me the difference, eventually I will put your teachings into action).
Before I begin to really dive into this incredibly deep subject, I will begin with my three good things of the day (and it is just 9am!).
1)I was up till 4am drinking coffee and talking to an awesome friend of mine
2)I woke up at 7 and took a really hot shower
3)When I got back to the room, coffee was already made and...oh BONUS...
4)Classes were canceled until 1pm today
Anyway, Katie Roiphe wrote a book in 1994, The Morning After: Fear, Sex, and Feminism that clearly states her views on rape victims. In an article brought to my attention by Tiff, "Roiphe denies the existence of a rape epidemic on campuses and in society. She believes that sex does and should involve power, pursuit, and struggle and that the term 'rape' is being misused to describe normal sexual relations." Roiphe later continues by explaining that participants in a march against rape on college campuses are just "whining" and that "proclaiming victimhood" is self defeating because it does not project strength. To me, there is nothing more empowering than being able to wake up each morning and say you are a stronger person because you are not the one sitting in the corner blaming yourself. Women waste too much time blaming themselves for something completely out of their control the problem is when women feel that if they say something their family/friends will be disgraced or even worse-- their family/friends will view them in a different light.
As a woman, I feel that even remotely considering women are the only ones using sex as a tool for mind games against the opposite sex is just ridiculous. I am at a complete loss of words.

"Nothing is so embarrassing as watching someone do something that you said could not be done." -Sam Ewing

All Grown Up With A Very Firm Grip On Life...

Some people say there is a difference between women and girls and that, that difference is maturity, sex, and respect. This statement holds a lot of truth behind it however there is one very false accusation men make about being a women and that is it automatically makes you a "controlling man eating bitch." Everyone knows that famous phrase "it's not you it's me" well there are times in life were you just need to say, "you know what, it is you and i cant take it anymore!!!" Being a women doesn't make me a bitch, a whore, or an unsympathetic brain ninja that just swoops in pulls some strings and swoops out like nothing ever happened, it just makes my bullshit tolerance a little less and my standards a little higher. I cannot even begin to count the amount of times a women has been hurt by a man and no one gives a shit so why should the world all of a sudden stop turning when a guy's "meaningful" short term relationship comes to a screeching halt? Everyone knows life is a bitch, but they also know that complaining about it doesn't make it better. One of my biggest pet peeves is people who are never happy no matter what they do. This is a personality trait that cannot be fixed if you don't want to fix it no matter what anyone does or says to try to help you... On a different note if my past experiences have taught me anything it's that working at a primary school dealing with 3-6 year old's is tiring and full of reverse psychology tactics yet its still so surprising to me that there is little difference between the average 5 year old and the average male college student. So to end this blog on a high note today i had the most amazing coffee, kicked ass at curling practice, and came home to an AWESOME roommate who I can share my frustration with!! Now tell me 3 good things about your day?

Not early enough but perfect timing none the less.

"80% of the final exam will be based on the one lecture you missed and the one book you didn't read. "

In between classes I would just like to take the time to say that I am so extremely "sqeek" happy for my best friends who have finally found one another. If it happened any sooner it would have been too late. I keep my chin up in the world of dating and such while walking between classes for the hopes of having what they have. Chris, "give her two red roses, each with a note. The first note says 'For the woman I love,' and the second, 'For my best friend.'" (Then you can mail me a red rose and it BETTER say the latter! :D I love you both and that is totally and completely enough. Congratulations.

Erin, I miss you

Erin and I spent a week on her family's private Island for Spring Break back in Upper Elementary and I will never forget singing this song while pushing her on the rope swing. That week ended with me discovering my parents were divorcing but even though my life was falling apart, Erin stuck by my side. I haven't seen her in a while and I thought I would just send her a shout out.

"I've got a daisy on my toe
It is not real, it does not grow
It's just a tattoo of a flower
So I look cute while taking a shower
It's on the 2nd toe of my left foot
It has no stem, it has no root
'cause it wouldn't look cute
I got a daisy on my toe
It is not real, it does not grow"

I don't believe in snow angels.

After 6 days of being sick I have decided...no more snow angels.



Anyway, that is about all I am going to talk about snow angels or being sick, I figure if I put something about Curling in the title-- no one would read this post except for Carl. The Student Club played the City Club today from 9-2pm and the City Club pretty much taught us how to play the game. I had a rock land on the button (it was a take-out shot, so even better...) and then get guarded by my teammates rocks, it was my first scoring rock! They say you will always remember that. I got compliments from some of the best players in the City Club which is amazing considering I have only been playing for three months. I had a blast playing with some of the best Curlers in the Student Club, thanks for having me guys!
Curling Regionals are January 30th-February 1st!

Red High Heels

My ex-boss and now personal chef came up to BGSU this past Thursday to cook for Tiff and I. We had chicken stuffed with manicotti cheese rolled in bruchetta next to fancier-than-normal alfredo noodles. He brought a bottle of wine and we were all just planning on relaxing...
Until...
Chuck and Tiff started talking about my style (or lack there of). In one night I was told to never wear 1/2 of my wardrobe, that I should wear make-up more often, I need to do something with my hair each day, and after all that-- they threw away a pair of my shoes. I have never been one to really care what people think, I mean, once you're called trailer trash by your roommate (not Tiff, this episode was Christina), you tend to get a thick skin and let everything just roll right off of you. I know I really don't look like I try each morning but the fact of the matter is I would rather spend money on bills and food than nice clothes, before coming here, the bars I went to with Chris were jeans/t-shirt material and occasionally I would find something a bit nicer to wear. In one night, we decided I needed a complete makeover...Tiff jumped online and bought be a few shirts for going out and I realized that maybe...the red heels in the BOTTOM of the bucket-- needed to go.

Do you think you are having panic attacks?

"I rarely have nightmares anymore"...famous last words right God?!
I have been working with my mom at her school all week but have been going upstairs and sleeping the majority of the day away; this means one of two thing, 1) I am not sleeping at all at night but instead playing online or watching television, or 2) I am sleeping at night but the sleep I am getting is worth nothing more than a penny paid against our debt built up during this war we have recently found ourselves in. Night before last I had a nightmare that was so scary that when when questioned, I did not want to talk about it but instead just turned the question around on the one asking. I guess now is probably a good time to talk about it considering I use this blog as a form of really really cheap therapy as well as an informative piece. I woke up drenched in sweat after (in my dream), dying my hair blond while in some sort of witness protection group, joining a drug counseling group and living in a "safe" house where keys weren't used but instead codes to every door including my bedroom and the bathroom. I remember standing in my house doing this and that and someone who eerily looked like Mr. Big from Sex and the City walked in. I guess somehow I knew he shouldn't have been there and I ran but before I could get the back door code in, my finger was blown off by a gun shot. I woke up shortly after all this happened and have absolutely no idea what could have set that kind of nightmare off. Today, I was exhausted in the classroom and did not really see any child in desperate need for attention so I went upstairs to read, I read a few chapters and fell asleep. This time, the nightmare flip flopped between two scenes. In one scene, I was at a basketball game desperately searching for a paper fan in the shape of a sun, I was much younger and without this fan I think I could not properly cheer for my team. Strange...ya think?! The other scene was at a water park in an innertube with two other people and we were on a water slide that seemed to be a skate park 1/2 pipe. The innertube would go up one side and then down and to the other side but would go to far and flip over, the water was soapy and the bubbles kept getting in my face to only suffocate me like at the foam party in BG. Every time we would flip over I would nearly drowned. Today I woke up with all my muscles sore as if I had been flexing for the previous two hours and I was still exhausted. I am sure there is an underlaying reason or meaning behind these nightmares but I am really just getting tired of them. I am happy, quite frankly, it's about damn time that I am happy...these past two years have sucked but the last two days have just been weird.

Montessori friend, not Monastery

It wasn't until I was in High School fighting ladies twice my size and paying $2.25 for 1/2 a lunch that I did not have to explain every day of my life that I did not go to a Monastery for school but indeed, a Montessori school. I have a week left of my vacation but already my mother is back at work with 12 pint sized children whos favorite thing to talk about is that girls have a vagina and boys come with a penis (to think with). I have been babysitting a few of the children in her class over the last few weeks for some cash to get me through next semester but I have somehow forgotten that dealing with one 5 year old is a whole lot easier than dealing with 12 5 year olds. It is interesting how frustrated they get when multiple people talk to them at once but they continue to believe that all adults have super powers and can listen to 2 or more high-pitched voices at once and completely understand every word. Even though I joke, I really do enjoy being in the classroom, we take for granted that we know how to pour water from one glass to another and that we can read without thinking about it anymore but to watch a two year old learn all the countries in Europe better than I is just astounding. I think it is remarkable how well children learn in this environment and adjust to the real world. It wasn't until High School that I sat at a desk and used a text book; it wasn't until High School that I wore shoes inside.

"We taught you that the Earth is round, and red and white make pink, and something else, that matters more, we taught you how to think," -Dr. Seuss, Hooray for Diffendoofer Day

New Years 2009

I spent last night, New Years Eve, in my bed while reading Ellen Wolfe's Walking the Dream. It is a phenomenally well written novel about Wolfe's thru-hike of the Appalachian Trail. It is my own plan to thru-hike the AT in three years after I graduate from BGSU and picking up tips and learning the tricks from "Wolf Woman" will help me every step of the way. 126 text messages were received and sent from my phone last night, 90% of which were just "Happy New Year, Be Safe." The other 10% were me telling Tim how to play Risk, the board game. I gave him one rule: "Take Zimbabwe first," and he couldn't even follow that one simple rule...we will see about him! Though my New Year's Eve was totally uneventful I enjoyed just relaxing by myself and avoiding all trouble with the police.

"In all fairness, I had Zimbabwe at the end...because the World was MINE at the end..." -Tim Baughman

It ain't so big...

I know Neyland Stadium is kinda big but it was just entertaining seeing and hearing Tim's reaction to the visual stimulation provided by the river side image...now what are they gonna do with Phillip Fullmer Blvd?

Just a quicky tonight dear friend

Thanks Tim for driving me to Knoxville when my Greyhound bus was three hours late forcing me to miss my connection in Cincinnati. For those of you who haven't met Tim, he graduated from BGSU a few Saturdays ago at the age of 21. Now, I am no mathematician but...that's 2.5 years spent taking classes for a four year degree...and he was dumb enough to drive ME all the way to Knoxville on a whim! What was he thinking. He is a total gentleman--even opening my car door on occasion. Instead of flowers to say good-bye, he drove me all the way to Knoxville! WOO! "Squeak...just for you Dawn!" I may not be in the 2.5 year club, hell, I probably wont even be in the 5 year club, but by God, I got three As and two Bs this past semester and am officially a Sophomore!

This holiday brought many socks in my stocking and even more muddy pairs of boots as mom and I went hiking on Christmas Day to celebrate the Solstice. It was wonderful just being up on House Mountain.

I really have been stressing over what to say in a post, I will write more later about babysitting and what life has been like here in Knoxville (so far, sooo good). I am going out to dinner with my two best friends Erin and Lauren tonight and as it sucks not having a car...not paying for gasoline, insurance, or...the car itself is totally and completely worth it.

Dar Williams, "The Christians and the Pagans"

Mom, Liz and I had a wonderful Christmahanukkwanzica; we started a new tradition of holiday pizza and almost setting off all the fire alarms with as many candles as we could find around the house. We read our favorite holiday stories and opened gifts by the light of a headlamp. I love my Pagan, Unitarian, Lesbian family.

Happy holidays everyone, may the times with the people you have chosen to surround yourself be merry.

Carry On Luggage

So here I am hanging out with two of my favorite nephews and one of the very best nieces I could ask for and reminiscing about the great night I had yesterday. We are watching Planet of the Apes, cutting out paper hearts for each other, and eating McD's $1 menu...the entire thing. There is never a dull moment in this house.
I am taking a greyhound bus to Knoxville, TN on Monday and it will suck to not see a few particular people for three weeks. Dawn told me that I should try and smuggle my new found friend, (you know, the one I quit looking for), on the bus as my carry-on luggage. I can see the boarding process as something like this:
Driver: "Uhm, sir, do you have a ticket?"
Me: "No, sir, he is my carry-on luggage; he will fit into the overhead compartment or under the seat in front of me...he could just sit in my lap too."
Driver: "You too cannot share a seat unless you are one."
Me: "Uhm...that can be arranged."
There are other options as well, I could throw him on my back and wear a really big coat...
Driver: "Ticket?"
Me: "Not a problem." Then I would walk right on through.

I got this all figured out.